I have been putting off my final blog for about two weeks now and I was trying to convince myself it was because I didn’t have anything to write about. I realized tonight the real reason – I didn’t realize it was going to end. I know that sounds ridiculous because I have been planning and anticipating the next step of my life for a while now. After my residency here at HUB-BUB, I will be moving in with my boyfriend who I haven’t lived near for 3 years and moving ten blocks away from my sister. It has been exciting planning and dreaming about all the possibilities for the upcoming year. What I forgot was that THIS had to end.
As I said farewell to my fellow AiR’s tonight, it finally hit me – THIS is over. We all hugged and tried really really hard not to cry and, at the same time, all walked back into our separate apartments and shut our doors. As my door slammed shut (they are super loud doors) and I heard all the other three doors shut, it felt so final. This was the last time we would all be here at THIS place, at THIS time, doing THIS thing.
I have moved around my whole life, so saying farewell to friends happens often. It is always sad, but for some reason this felt more like the end of an era. An era of the AiR’s. And I don’t mean to trivialize the moment of the doors shutting, but it felt so similar to when a long running TV program ends. You laughed and cried for years with this cast (i.e. Friends, Cheers, Seinfeld) and you know the end is coming, but it isn’t really over till that last door closes. And then comes the inevitable void of onto the next.